The Hardest Kind Of Pain


The other week I was driving home from work–the time when I have an hour to my thoughts to just think, think, and for a change of pace, think some more. 🙂 I started pondering life, people, relationships, and pain…how they are all somehow woven together in such a complicated way!  I started thinking of some of the things that have hurt me the very most. No, it wasn’t when someone hurt me deeply or when I ran a 5K race trying to beat my PR while I had the stomach flu. It was when I knew that something I had to do was going to cause someone else very much pain. It’s a terrible feeling and sometimes you wish so bad you could just take their spot so they wouldn’t have to go through it. Sometimes knowing something you have to do will cause pain is the very worst pain of all!

It was then that the death of Jesus came to mind. I’ve heard many many sermons and people’s thoughts on the great pain that Jesus suffered for us and they are all so true. But I have heard much less about the great pain God the Father must have gone through watching his Son go through such horrific pain! God the Father knew that it had to take place but it didn’t make it any less painful.

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?”  ~Matthew 27:46

I’m not a parent so I’m sure I can’t comprehend this nearly as well as you who have precious little people that you sacrificially love and lay your life down for everyday. But can you just imagine your child experiencing the most horrific pain, shame, and weight of sin that has ever been experienced before in this broken world? They are completely innocent and undeserving of it but you can’t be there for them and you have to turn away! You have to turn a deaf ear to their pleading cry as your heart inside is torn into a thousand shreds.

Tonight I am forever grateful for a Savior who experienced such horrific pain we could never come close to understanding, and to God who suffered more than we will ever know, watching his Son go through such unspeakable pain!


One response

  1. Hi Joanna! I was thinking of you today and visited your Instagram only to discover you had a blog url that I hadn’t visited before–such a pretty space here, friend. And such heartfelt truth here, too. Thanks for sharing your heart.

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